Grades For Your Writing Assignments

Dear Students,
Thanks to those of you who actually submitted a writing assignment (Samantha and Cara).
You were both given the same theme to write about, and I think you did a great job, the stories are completely different, but still follow the same idea. Here are your grades:


First we have Samantha's Story:

Alice got down onto her hands and knees and looked down at her little 7-year-old sister Susie's hand. She was gripping a tree branch growing out of the wide and deep cliff that she had fallen off of. They were pretty much out in the middle of nowhere, and there was no one to call for help to. Alice's arm was to short to reach Susie's hand and pull her up. She had to find another way! Alice flipped her head around, eyes darting from the rock there, the bird there, the tree there, when she spotted a long sturdy stick. She ran over and grabbed the stick and ran back over to the cliff and held the stick off the edge where Susie was hanging.

"Grab the stick!" Alice yelled.

Susie shook her head. "If I grab the stick with one arm, my other arm might slip and I could fall down!"

"Well, do you want to stay hanging for the rest of your life?" Alcie said fiercly. Susie shook her head. "Then grab it!!" Alice shouted. Quickly Susie grabbed the stick with one arm, then the other.

"I'm ready!" Susie shouted to Alice. Alice nodded and then pulled on the stick as hard as she could. Susie helped by using her feet to push up on the edge of the cliff. Finally, Susie was up and over, safely on solid ground. Susie smiled at Alice.

"Thank you, Alice. You saved my life! I love you." And she gave Alice a big hug.

THE END!

Samantha, your story was very exciting, and you did an excellent job of your grammar and punctuation.
You get…

A+!
Fantastic work!


Next is Cara's version:

Alice Saves The Day
By Cara Jamie Grace

Oncer there lived a girl called Alice and she lived in Richmond with her mother, her father and her sister polly. One fine saturday morning mother said Alice would you like to go to the lolly shop this afternoon? yes please said Alice. well than if you will help me in the vegie patch than the whole family can go together. thank you so much mummy! said Alice. So Alice helped plant a crop of potatoes, pull up carrots and plant seedlings. They finished a few minutes before lunch so mummy said how about we have a quick shower and change and then we can all go out for lunch. thats a great idea! Alice said. So they went to the lolly shop and bought some raspberry drops and peppermint humbugs, then they went and sat outside the pub and daddy went to get some drinks, Presently daddy came back with some fizzy drinks for Alice and Polly and some cider for him and mummy. while they were quitley drinking a care came along and swereved out of direction heading for mrs Avery (who's husband owned the lolly shop). LOOK OUT! yelled Alice as she sprinted towards them! all of a sudden the car bashed in to one of the tall lights in front of the pub. Are you all right? asked Alice helping mrs Avery to her feet, I am perfectly fine thanks to you said mrs Aver. I'm bald that it missed you said Alice. people started runing over, including her father. Alice I know I should be cross with you. sorry daddy said Alice, but contined her father I couldent feel more pround! Alice hugged her father. After that the diver was taken to hospital with so serious damadge and Alice recieved a bike from mrs Avery. you saved the day Alice she said and so she had the end.

Cara, your story line was great too, but you spelt a lot of words wrong, and your punctuation wasn't so good. Considering that, you get….

B!
Great job!